Hello All! I hope everyone is having a beautiful day & hope you all aren’t suffering too bad with the time change this past weekend! Thank you for stopping by once again to read another post!
If you read my last post “I am you” you now know my story. One of my best friends and I were talking about this blog post you’re reading now and she gave me inspiration to write about my journey to get where I am now. How did I overcome everything in my past? How do I deal with the anxiety I still have? Well, it took a lot of work, courage, fire and grit to get here.
I’ve seen and heard of so many people who use their flaws and their past to stay the same way their whole life, to stay stuck in a victim mentality. Using the excuse “Well this is just the way I am” to stay stuck in a vicious cycle. There came a time in my life where a fire hit me in the pit of my soul. That fire said, you’re not going out like this. It was time to own it.
Suddenly the mistakes I had made, became my story instead of my identity. The depression still shows up once in awhile, but it’s not nearly as much as it used to be. I can’t give you the cure for the overwhelming sadness that you might feel. Depression is so much more than just being sad and I can’t tell you how to make it go away all together. But I can tell you, it might not feel like it, but you have so many reasons to live. This world needs you. You are NOT HERE BY MISTAKE. You are NOT unlovable. You are NOT worthless. Instead of thinking about self-harm, talk to someone. It might feel like nobody will understand, but I promise you that someone will. Depression feels like a prison & some days it still will, but instead of feeding it, don’t give it power to rule over you. I still have anxiety over a lot of things, some days it feels like I’m choking on my own air. But I continue to fight, because it doesn’t own me. I made it through because I was determined to rise.
I started caring less about what others thought about me & caring more about the person I wanted to be. I put my past heart-break aside and told myself the truth, they didn’t care about you. I made life-style changes, started telling myself truth instead of the lies I was believing in my head, I separated myself from the things the brought me down and determined that I was going to rise.
I have amazing parents, who have always loved and supported me. I didn’t tell them about what I was dealing with, because I didn’t want that burden on others. The reason I tell you this is because now, I wish I would have listened. I wish I would have talked to someone. We are given grace, so give grace to yourself to grow, to learn, to overcome, to have the bad days but still get up the next morning and fight again. If you’re trying to figure things out, talk to someone, it’s the first step in healing.
Until next time…..