Speechless

Hello Everyone! I hope each one reading this is doing well! I’m sitting in my living room working on this post after visiting one of my favorite places on this earth last week, the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. It has been a busy few weeks but the vacation was wonderful! We went to celebrate one of my best friends’ milestone birthdays & we had a great time with lots of laughs. While on our little trip, we watched the newest, live action version of Aladdin, my friend & her family had seen it already but it was a first for us. As funny as it may sound, some of the things Jasmine was dealing with in the movie was completely relatable. Like how others were trying to silence her & drown her out. Like how they continued to try to cut her down. We watched her fight for her rightful place in the kingdom. We watched her go from a timid young woman, to a leader who wouldn’t remain silent. I related to that on a personal level.

I was told in my teenage years by others that I really looked up to & still do, that I was hard on myself. Harder than I should have been, you see, I am what you’d call a perfectionist. I tended to let others walk over me & didn’t speak up for myself nearly as often as I should have. When my husband & I married, I had started coming out of that some but not completely. My emotions were torn with what others were saying about me, things being said by people who had never even met me at the time. It didn’t take long to finally have a breakthrough, my tolerance had reached the “enough” stage. Suddenly, that story ended & I wasn’t that speechless girl anymore.

Around a year and a half into our marriage, I finally met those who talked about me behind my back. Most people wouldn’t even meet with people who said that kind of stuff about them, but I did it because I never wanted to look back & say I hadn’t tried to make those relationships work and for my husband also. It was hard, but I accepted the apologies they extended at the time & tried to extend an olive branch for a second chance, with one condition, don’t force anything on me. For a time, things were working out & everything was okay. Then May of last year rolled around & it came to an end. They tried to drown me out, silence my opinion because it wasn’t what they wanted to hear. They didn’t want the truth. They didn’t like the fact that I am a strong woman with a voice. They wanted me to be seen, but not heard. They tried to suffocate me, back me into a corner and totally underestimated me. I would never be silent, I would never go speechless again. 

In the end, they still tried to force puzzle pieces together that would never fit. Their apologies were ultimately fake because they started doing everything all over again that they were supposedly sorry for. What I said/did made them angry and I was beyond caring. I stood behind my actions/words and still do. You don’t poke a bear till its claws come out & then expect it not to defend itself. But that’s what narcissists do, they want to make you look like you’re the bad guy & they’re the victim. They will never take any true accountability for what they say or do, it’s their way or nothing & they can’t stand anyone strong enough to call them on their bull. 

I share all this with you today because I want to encourage you to never let another person walk over you. YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH AND YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE TREATED BADLY. Stop & read that again. It’s better to completely take yourself out of a situation/relationship where someone is degrading you, I did in the end. But, I want to encourage you to never be afraid to speak up for the truth. Don’t tremble when they try to cut you down. Don’t let anyone walk over you. Do not ever let another person take your voice. Never let anyone, yourself included, render you speechless.

Until next time…..

Katie