Hey Everyone! It’s been a while and I hope y’all are doing well! A brief recap of life for me over the past few months has been primarily work. Real estate, a part-time job at a local business, my husband back into lawn care & landscaping & life, in general, has been keeping us busy. I’ve been debating on what to write next. I went ahead and decided to write a post about relationships, love & beating the odds, in the spirit of my husband & I’s 5th year wedding anniversary coming up this week! So to start off, I want to share a little of our story with you!
My husband & I met when I was eighteen. We were working at the same fast food restaurant, I had been working there for close to two years and he had just started there because he had just moved to the area. As funny as it sounds, the first time I sat down on lunch break with him, I looked for a wedding ring. (Truthfully I really thought he was older than he was and had to be married.) Well, as you can gather, I found no wedding ring on his finger that day. (He was also younger than I first thought but he looked more mature with that beard of his.) We only worked together for a short time before I moved on from that job, but, he pursued me and we soon went out on our first date.
Fast forward a bit, my nineteenth birthday came and I celebrated it with my boyfriend. We went through some bumpy times between our first date and becoming engaged. Some of his family was not happy about us being together, former friends of mine who thought things were progressing too fast and a few other reasons caused us to have a few hiccups in our relationship. But, it wasn’t long before that knowing settled in my heart. That I had found the one I was going to spend my life with. At that point, both of us were never more sure of anything in our lives & nothing could stand in our way of figuring things out. Around five weeks after my birthday, we were engaged. Some have differing opinions on the topic then my husband & I do, but we believe soulmates exist & we believe we are each other’s soulmate. So, why wait to get married? When you know, you know.
Some would say we had a whirlwind romance, I suppose in some ways we did. Because in September of the same year, we were married. I became a Mrs. and nothing else had ever sounded so strange, yet so very right. Our complete relationship from meeting to marriage was nine months. We endured a lot of crap in those nine months, just because other people had a different image of the way it should have gone. Some also thought I had to be pregnant just because we were getting married quickly. The fact that we were in love & were just ready to start our life together was beyond them.
Those people aside. Even some of the folks that were genuinely happy for us had remarks after we got back from our honeymoon. We heard things like, “So have you had your first fight yet?”, “Oh, just wait till you have your first yelling match.”, “You’re in the honeymoon phase, it doesn’t last so enjoy it while you can.” and so much more.
I don’t know what business it is of anyones in the first place. But my thoughts were “No, it’s not going to be like this.” It grated on my nerves to hear someone say that I should have already fought with my husband. It frustrated me that people really believed that after the honeymoon phase, we wouldn’t “like” each other anymore. I still have the same feelings about it now as I did then. We shouldn’t be normalizing arguments and things that won’t last.
My husband has been since we started dating, is now and always will be my best friend. We’ll always go better together. He is my other half, I love just being with him & I never knew what love was until I met him. He shows me God’s love through his love. Even when I’m being stubborn, hangry, or am just having an off day, he always loves me through it. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gotten frustrated with my husband, we’ve had our days but it has never been fights and bickering. It shouldn’t be like that and quite frankly, if it is, you shouldn’t even be together.
We’re no experts, by any means. We’ll never stop learning one another. At five years in, we have learned a thing or two. Just because you’re soulmates (if you believe in that) doesn’t mean ups & downs don’t exist. We’re human so naturally, things aren’t going to be perfect. Disagreements? They will happen but they don’t have to drag on for hours, days, or months until it becomes a lot larger of an issue than just a disagreement. The honeymoon phase? Yeah, you might be more lovey dovy when you’re first together. But, that doesn’t mean that phase has to end if you work at it. Sometimes romance is cuddling under a blanket while watching 24/7 true crime documentaries or impulsivity heading on vacation a day early with no destination in mind. “Falling out of love” is truly just a mindset in my opinion. Because you have to make the choice to love every day. You have to make the choice to continue to grow in love, to grow together & not apart, you have to support each other in the other’s goals & dreams. Marriage can’t ever be one person doing everything, you both have to work at it. The amount of couples that are divorced now that we seen get married around the same time we did or within a year or two of us is truly mind-blowing & saddening.
I’m here to tell you that you can beat the odds. We did.
Don’t allow what someone else says to interfere or make you doubt your relationship. The only thing that matters is you and that person. After all, they are the one you’re spending the rest of your life with. I also ask you to truly & deeply know that you’re marrying the right person, or things won’t last. Also, in our opinion, you absolutely have to be best friends. That’s what carries a marriage through the tough times is knowing that you can talk about literally anything & everything.
If you & your significant other’s relationship is built on Jesus, rooted in love, grounded in communication & friendship, and is filled with trust. Forget what anyone else says about it & know that the Lord is guiding you to the right decision! And most importantly, let’s start normalizing healthy & lasting relationships!
Until next time…..
One thought on “Beating The Odds”
Love the Gottman books on building a lasting relationship. Good post.
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